Advitica

Well-being and prosperity

How often do parents use intimidation as a tactic? Yelling and screaming in particular?
Well if it seems to be all the time then you are not alone.

Some adults get into a habbit of yelling, raising their voices or being intimidating when they dont get their own way. I'm not just talking about reasonable things either. Some adults do it so often that home becomes like a war zone, where one is constantly being careful to avoid the next conflict. This is no way to live. It has to stop.

Parents do have a right to be intimidating about things that are life-and-death or dramatically life altering like drug use. But I'm not talking about things like that. Every day things like not getting their choice of TV channel, not getting their opinion heard, not agreeing with them on eveything - should not result in raised voices or intimidation.

Firstly if things are really serious then get help from your school's counsellors - they can give specific advice for your situation but for others, consider telling your parents to stop yelling. Don't agree to do anything when a person is yelling at you (except like "Get off the road! a truck is coming" - Duh : No I dont mean that) Give them the hand "talk to the hand - stop yelling". Use a 2-command phrase (1,2) like (1 - dont yell, 2 talk normaly) so tell them what not to do and tell them what to do instead. "back off, calm down"

Don't accept yelling and screaming or other tactics as normal behaviour. 


The thing is that often these people get self esteem from yelling and screaming and when you yell and scream back then they get an even bigger payoff especially when they feel that they win. Look at strategies that dont feed their self esteem.