Advitica

Well-being and prosperity

One of the most frustrating issues in conversation is the feeling of the other person invalidating you.  Invalidation is where the other person rejects a logical statement by using emotion, or by using an emotional statement to reject a logical statement.  Let me give you an example.

 

Let's say that you have a fear of traveling through tunnels.  So you say to your partner "I'm scared of tunnels - I don't want to go through".  They respond with "But there is nothing to be scared of the tunnel will not fall collapse".  This is an example where the emotion is invalidated by logic.  Let's stick with the tunnel "I don't want to go into the tunnel because the car fumes make me sleepy".  They respond "you are such a baby."

 

One simple approach is to be mindful of sentence construction and to add both fact and emotion into conversation.  It's not always immediately obvious if someone is speaking from a logical point of view or emotional or perhaps both, so adding an emotional payload as well as a logical one helps to avoid invalidating your partner's perspective, so for the first tunnel example might be "I can see how that is scary for you but the tunnel will not fall down".