A couple of weeks ago my database crashed. Had to end up rolling back a couple of months :/
I have done a lot of work over the last year, starting off with self-acceptance and self-compassion.
A part of the work has been mindfulness - the ability to observe my feelings without reacting to them. This technique allows the removal of direct focus of an intense emotion but its useful as avoidance of an experience. I have also come to recognise myself as an empath and an emotional healer. I didn't really believe the endochronology, showing my eostrogen levels more than 25 times over the maximum for either men or women but it also explains that my emotional sensitivity goes beyond psychology - it's phsyologically based as well.
I have performed a lot of work by clearing limiting beliefs, healing childhood memories and the like. I have also discovered my shadow side and explored my shadow values.
Now that I am in charge of creating my own reality, I choose how to interpret my reality in a way that suits me. It doesn't mean that every experience is rosy and is full of joy. Rather, I choose to feel my emotions rather than to avoid them. I find myself in conflict at work. I'm forming a new set of values:
By no guilt, I mean that I am not ashamed of who I am. I do what I believe that is in the best interest of me, my colleagues and my work. If someone judges my on my conduct then that is their free choice. It's not for me to feel guilty.
I should not form judgment against my aggressors. They act from their perspective and I expect that they justify their actions based on their life experiences. It serves me better to take at least three different perspectives but ideally six. This gives me an advantage in terms of strategic understanding and gives me power to act outside of personal experience not limited by judgment.
I have no fear in the actions that I take. I'm living in the present moment, so any projection of what the future may hold is exactly that. Since I control my own reality I project growth from the experience. This allows me to act without fear to do what is in the best interest of my personal development.